that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
