Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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