I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
