we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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