I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
My ATM looks so different sober.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
