Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
