Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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