I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
