This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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