Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
