So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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