No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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