There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
