Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Randomize
