I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
