Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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