Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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