If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
