Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
