You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
