Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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