Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize