If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
