I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
