just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
try to milk me bitch
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
