I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
