I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
