Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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