Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
