Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
