I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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