Do you still have your period?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
it hurts more in the daytime
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
May the power of my ass compel you!!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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