so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize