she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
