Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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