Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
