Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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