Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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