Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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