Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
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I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
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I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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