I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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