try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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