apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She tied me up with her honor cords...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
did you just send me my own nude
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
