THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
