Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize