I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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