You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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