some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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