Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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