I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
