So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
