Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
