i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
