i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
should my penis look like a turkey
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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