i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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