you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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