I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize