As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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