so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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