I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
try to milk me bitch
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
