Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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